No Doubt
Self –Doubt, it hits everyone in some point in time, but in my case it is an everyday struggle. Some may not think it is a thing, but I am telling you this, it is as real as the sun and the moon in the sky. Some people deal with it more than others, and (raises my hand) I am one of those people. When I first decided to start this Blog I was so excited thinking ‘Hey I can do this, I have things to say’ but then slowly the crazy self-doubt creeps in like a thief in the night. Quietly and slowly making its way around each part of my head until it slowly arrives at my heart.
I have what I call ADSS, which is ‘Angel/Devil Shoulder Syndrome’ So the ADSS kicked in and like I said I was so excited then slowly that self-doubt kicked in and I was thinking about only the negative. Those negatives to me were, what if no one ever reads its, what if I get hate mail because someone didn’t like what I had to say. You name it I was thinking it. It doesn’t matter how much you try to not think about it, it is always right there poisoning your thoughts. It didn’t matter that I had my husband telling me ‘don’t look at the numbers don’t look at how many people are reading it all it takes is that one person. That one person can make all the difference’ it didn’t matter to me what he had said, even though I knew he was right, I still didn’t believe that I could even reach that one person.
You see self-doubt is my weakness that the Devil knows that he can use to try to discourage me from whatever the Lord has asked of me. He knows that self-doubt is my kryptonite. It is the Joker to my Batman. No matter where I turn he is there spewing his lies into my ear, and he knows that I listen. Now I know that I shouldn’t be giving the Devil the satisfaction of even listening to him. As you can see as you read these words I am still going strong and not listening. Even as I am typing these words the ADSS is kicking in.
I know each and everyday that I need to put my trust and strength in God to get through every bit of self-doubt that the devil whispers in my ears. I have to remind myself that Jesus says in the Bible “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 I need to learn to kick this ADSS right to the curb and to only listen to the voice of reason which is Christ my Savior.
Remember the Devil is hunting those who can impact the heaven, and those that have something to offer. Remember this guys God has a purpose for you. He has plans for you that no matter what you hear in your mind those are lies that the Devil tells you because he is out there to make you crazy. So if you suffer from ADSS I am here to help you. Now listen, I don’t have it all together myself but I am working on it. If I can push through it and continue on this journey of reaching those that need to be reached.
So I pray that all of you can get the strength you need from the Lord to fight your ADSS. Just know that I am on this journey with you and reaching out for that same strength right along with you. So know I am here with you and I will be here for you. You are not alone. You are worth so much more and I will help you realize that with the help from the Lord. We will overcome this together.
God Bless
-Nicole
